No thanks, I'll stick with the old me

By Christy Fitzwater

Ask me about a list of spiritual disciplines, and I’ll feel pretty decent about myself.

·        Read my Bible every day? Check.

·        Memorizes verses? Lots.

·        Pray hard? Yes.

·        Serve with my spiritual gifts? Every day. 

But please, please don’t ask me about this new discipline God is putting in front of me of sharing the gospel with people. He is telling me to be a sower but not just in the safe places at church. He wants me to go outside. 

   

When it comes to witnessing I. Am. A. Failure.  

I keep asking God this question: Is it possible for an old dog to learn new tricks? Because seriously, I'm 43 years old, and I've stunk at sharing my faith for three decades.

In the last several months, though, God has hammered me about being obedient to share the gospel with people who need him. I turn on the radio and the sermon is on witnessing. The songs at church are about witnessing. My daily Bible reading is about witnessing. An event at church is about witnessing. We get a sub for Sunday School, and he talks about witnessing.   

I groan and whine like a little kid who doesn’t want to eat beets. God, please don’t make me do this. I can’t.   

My teenagers do this thing where they tip their heads back, open their mouths, and let out a guttural groan when they really, really don’t want to do something. That’s where I am with God. 

So here I am, this yellow-bellied pastor’s wife in Montana, and God is literally shoving me into a new discipline of approaching people with the gospel.   

I’m terrified to be obedient, but at the same time I don’t want to stay where I am now, ya know? It’s going to cost me a lot to change. 

Is God pushing you to be obedient in a new area?

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Allow me to introduce myself...
My name is Christy, and my husband and I have lived in Kalispell, Montana (an hour from the Canadian border) for 17 years. He is a licensed professional counselor who is associate pastor at Easthaven Baptist Church. My ministry is all about words. I write and teach my own children's curriculum to about 70 Awana kids every week. I write Bible studies and small group discussion guides that correspond with our sermon series at church. I also write devotional guides for our youth, preparing them for mission trips. (Check out my devotional blog, Tiddlywinks.) Besides all the writing, I do medical transcription and love being housewife, pastor's champion, and mom to my two awesome teenagers.