By Carla Adair Hendricks *
Imagine with me... We're sitting in a quiet classroom with a dozen other strangers. We are sitting in a circle, reminiscent of our Kindergarten days long ago. The people in our circle represent different races, age groups and communities.
We all have one thing in common.
Finally, my turn to speak approaches. I inhale. I exhale. I recall my practiced introduction. I commence:
"My name is Carla, and I am a recovering control freak."
Would you accompany me to this support group? Could you use some therapy for your need to control your life? Or the life of others around you?
I've often wondered why I've led such an unpredictable adult life, when my childhood was so predictable. Why God has called my family to relocate multiple times, when I didn't move out of my childhood home until my first year of college. Why I often feel uncertain about the future. Why I can't seem to just "make things happen."
There are no easy answers to these questions.
There are no easy answers to your questions either.
At least not the answers we're looking for.
You see, while we wait for God to explain every bend, every valley, every detour, every retracing of the road we've previously traveled, He often remains silent.
Or so we think.
If we listen carefully to His still small voice, we can hear a sweet, but firm whisper from the Father. The same whisper I've heard as I've revisited the Psalms in my personal time with Jesus. I've clung to King David's words that repeat over and over again.
DELIVER SAVE SHIELD REFUGE TRUST
These words wash over me like a clear, refreshing spring. An oasis in the deserts of my life. A creek running through my heart's wilderness wanderings. An ocean of grace to drown my discontent, my disillusionment.
And I hear my God's voice through the rushing of mighty waters.
"TRUST ME, DAUGHTER."
Through financial uncertainty. Through interpersonal conflict. Through failures -- especially my own.
Through the challenges of ministry life.
I must lift my hands.
I must relinquish the right to control my own life.
And I must TRUST HIM.
* Carla Adair Hendricks has been a pastor's wife for eleven years. She has a heart for the Lord, her husband Anthony, her four amazing children, her church (www.mosaicchurch.net), orphans around the world and other PW's (Pastor's Wives). Her heart for PW's led her to found "A Pastor's Wives' Garden," a weekly blog dedicated to encourage the wives of ministers around the globe. An extra treat -- oftentimes, other women stumble into the Garden and find a little refreshing as well. To read more about Carla, click here.