Monday, June 11, 2012

A Reflection...of Him

by Shannon Milholland

Do you remember those first words? The first acknowledgement that your child was a reflection of you?

The four I hope most reflect His beautfy
He has your nose.

She has your smile.

He has your musical inclination.

She has your athleticism.

That moment is thrilling. Your heart swells with a mixture of pride and awe. This little person really is a reflection of you. But then you recognize other traits in your child.

He has your shyness.

She has your stubbornness.

He has your rebellious spirit.

She has your tendency to lie.

The joy of the initial reflections are equaled with sorrow for the latter. This issue is made only worse when your child's faults and failures are so...public. Is it possible to raise a child in the arena of ministry and not fall to the temptation to put undo pressure, spoken or unspoken, on your child towards perfection?

Yes, but first we must change the mirror.

What if we viewed ourselves and our children from a different reflective surface? What if our children weren't a reflection of us as much as a reflection of Him? 

He is strong enough to deflect the worst temper tantrum. 

His character is refined enough to absorb the longest season of rebellion. 

His loving eyes diffuse the most critical of spirits.

When we look to Him, we give our children freedom to fail. His grace is a secure landing place. His face is the reflection I most want to see on my daughters' faces. 

How can you pray or act differently today to give your children freedom to reflect the One worthy of reflection?

Shannon is a morning runner, an afternoon carpooler and all-day lover of Jesus.

She is the author of Jesus & My Orange Juice, a fresh-squeezed oasis for ordinary living. Shannon finds joy among piles of laundry and miles of carpools and delights in leading others to this place of contentment in life. She presents the gift of prayer in her free 30 day prayer guide PrePrayed: Preparing for Life’s Events. She is a frequently published author. Most recently, she was a contributing author to Always There: Reflections for Mom’s on God’s Presence.

As a speaker, Shannon is straight forward about her own struggles. She is a compassionate advocate fighting for victory in the life of her audience with a message of hope and encouragement.

When not writing or speaking, she enjoys her favorite job of wife to Scott and mom to four daughters from preschool to high school.

Connect with her online at or on Facebook, Twitter or Pinterest.


  1. One thing I grew up with in the south and somewhat wear like scars is racism. My son knows diversity in a way that I did not. White is white and black is brown and it doesn't matter who he chooses to be his friends. With him and for so many other reasons I have tried to carry myself in a way to not judge those of my race or others. But sometimes times I fail in small ways. When my son told me about someone on his bus who was giving him problems my first question to him was, "Was he white or brown?" I was immediately ashamed. I knew as quickly as I asked him that it did not matter what color the boy was and I was already reflecting judgment on my sons character. It definitely speaks to me when you say, "We must change the mirror". Thanks Shannon. Great post.

    1. Kenya, you'll love this. Me and Daughter #2 are relatively dark skinned for "white" people. For the longest time she drew us with the brown crayons and if she were trying to describe a classmate who was Asian, Middle Eastern or African American, she'd say, "you know, Mommy, the one who looks like us." Warmed my heart every time.

      So you didn't know it but we look just alike, sister. Both reflections of our Father. :)


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